HIM: I finally found something healthy at 7-11.
ME: No you didn’t
HIM: How do you know?
ME: Cause there’s nothing healthy at 7-11.
HIM: Yes there is. Lottery Tickets. Somebody won a million dollars on a scratcher.
ME: I read that stuff you scratch off those tickets is carcinogenic AND bad for the environment.
HIM: You’re SO EXTREME in EVERYTHING you do. You went from being a whiskey soaked drug addict, who would fry air… to this super sober, health food nut.
ME: And that’s a bad thing?
HIM: No it’s just you. It’s a never a bad thing with you, it’s just always a strange thing.
ME: You know that health bar you’re eating has sugar alcohol in it. You might as well be eating a Baby Ruth, and chasing it with a coke.
ME: What you thinking?
HIM: I’m thinking how much I miss the good old days of finding you passed out, using a whiskey bottle for a pillow, with a coke mirror stuck to your tongue and fried chicken bones in your weave.
ME: You really are a broken toy.
HIM: Well let me see… I married you… I guess that would be a yes.