(I’m watching Golden Girls, he’s doing homework)
ME: These outfits were FABULOUS that they wore.
HIM: I have to write a 3 page paper tonight, and be up at 6 for work.
ME: You can write that in 5 minutes, you have a MUCH bigger problem.
HIM: YOU can write that in 5 minutes, it’ll take me hours… and what problem.
ME: Valentine’s Day is coming up and since I don’t eat candy anymore, what are you going to get me.
HIM: I hadn’t thought about it.
ME: There’s only 7 shopping days left, what do you mean you hadn’t thought about it.
HIM: I’m taking 18 units, working 40 hours a week… I hadn’t thought about it.
ME: Well when do you plan on thinking about it?
HIM: Now. I’ll think about it now. There thought about it. I’ll get you one of those floral arrangements made out of fruit. Fruit for a big fruit. That works. Happy?
ME: No! I’m insulted… I am NOT a big fruit.
HIM: Yeah right, and Texas is not a big state.
ME: I’m telling you right now. Do not get me that.
HIM: Fine.. how about A heart shaped slap of beef.
ME: Well if it’s from a juicy part of the cow. But I’m not eating a lot of red meat. Look at those earrings Blanche is wearing… they are FABULOUS…
HIM: Flowers… I’ll get you flowers.
ME: Oh how original. You don’t love me.
HIM: If I didn’t love you, I’d drive a stake through your heart right now.
ME: I know what I’m getting you.
HIM: I don’t care what you get me… as long as it’s not another pair of boxer shorts with hearts or lips on them.
ME: Why must you be so hard to please.