HIM: Hi honey, you’re up early.
ME: Yup, I’ve already exercised for an hour and written for 3.
HIM: What time did you get up?
ME: 3:00 A.M. It’s cause I went to sleep at 10
HIM: You did that cause I was in such a bad mood. I’m sorry.
ME: It’s okay. It’s not your fault there were two monkeys in your head and only one banana.
HIM: Wow.. Look at your night stand.
ME: What about it?
HIM: It’s got palates bands and free weights on it.
ME: That’s in case I wake up and want to do some quick exercise. You know exercise feels really good.
HIM: Gee I didn’t know that. I only swim 4 hours a day.
ME: And the monkeys are at it again…
HIM: I’m just kidding. It’s just strange to see exercise stuff on your night stand.
HIM: Well when I first married you you used to keep a tube of lipstick, some mascara, a bandana and some gold hoops on your night stand.
ME: Well that was in case of a fire or robbery or something I could grab that stuff and put on a quick “bare necessity” face and go screaming into to the night,
HIM: Then there was your drunken drug addict phase.
ME: Excuse me, I had a medication and cocktail phase
HIM: Yeah well, you used to keep a mirror, a fifth of Jack Daniels and a rolled up dollar bill on your nightstand.
ME: Well that was in case of a fire or robbery or something I could grab that stuff and not worry about it.
HIM: (Sighs) I wished instead of a marriage license they would have given me a manual and some handling instructions for you.
ME: And still just one banana between those monkeys.