One Banana Two Monkeys

HIM: Hi honey, you’re up early.

ME: Yup, I’ve already exercised for an hour and written for 3.

HIM: What time did you get up?

ME: 3:00 A.M. It’s cause I went to sleep at 10

HIM: You did that cause I was in such a bad mood. I’m sorry.

ME: It’s okay. It’s not your fault there were two monkeys in your head and only one banana.

HIM: Wow.. Look at your night stand.

ME: What about it?

HIM: It’s got palates bands and free weights on it.

ME: That’s in case I wake up and want to do some quick exercise. You know exercise feels really good.

HIM: Gee I didn’t know that. I only swim 4 hours a day.

ME: And the monkeys are at it again…

HIM: I’m just kidding. It’s just strange to see exercise stuff on your night stand.

ME: Why?

HIM: Well when I first married you you used to keep a tube of lipstick, some mascara, a bandana and some gold hoops on your night stand.

ME: Well that was in case of a fire or robbery or something I could grab that stuff and put on a quick “bare necessity” face and go screaming into to the night,

HIM: Then there was your drunken drug addict phase.

ME: Excuse me, I had a medication and cocktail phase

HIM: Yeah well, you used to keep a mirror, a fifth of Jack Daniels and a rolled up dollar bill on your nightstand.

ME: Well that was in case of a fire or robbery or something I could grab that stuff and not worry about it.

HIM: (Sighs) I wished instead of a marriage license they would have given me a manual and some handling instructions for you.

ME: And still just one banana between those monkeys.

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