Cleaning Frenzy…Mostly Frenzy

The Phone Rings…

HIM: Hi honey… I just called to say hi.

ME: Do NOT SPEAK to me.

HIM: What’s wrong?

ME: I’m cleaning out and organizing the refrigerator… and I would like to know WHY you have 3 jars of peanut butter open and two jars of pasta sauce open and both of them half eaten… what kind of person does that? A fiend! That’s what kind of person!

HIM: (lying) I didn’t do it.

ME: Don’t lie to me… You make my head hurt.

HIM: Well the refrigerator is so cluttered sometimes I just can’t find things… so I open a new one.

ME: I would NEVER do something like that.

HIM: Cause you would never leave anything half eaten…

ME: I leave plenty of things half eaten.

HIM: Name one.

ME: Don’t play with me. If you want something to play with go to Toys R Us and buy something… BUT DO NOT PLAY WITH ME… I AM DANGEROUS!!!!!

HIM: Look, when you went back to school… I kept the house impeccably clean… and I didn’t have Patrick to help me… and I did not complain. Now you clean one thing in 24 years and you’re coming unglued. Why don’t you have Patrick do it… and take a chill pill.

ME: Because I am becoming more involved in the cleaning of this house.

HIM: You’re such a bitch.

ME: And you’re such a good judge of character.

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