Curing the Common Cold

ME: (Slap Robert on the arm)

HIM: Owww… what’s that for?

ME: Thanks to you God has visited a plague on this house and that’s why we have these colds. (Open up a bottle of cough medicine)

HIM: Can I have some of that before you go into Hollywood Starlette mode and start swigging it straight out of the bottle…

ME: How else are you supposed to drink cough syrup?

HIM: You’re not supposed to drink cough syrup. You’re supposed to take it in the plastic measuring cup they provide.

ME: Well I wouldn’t know because before you I never had a cold.

HIM: No, before me, you’re nose was so full of drugs you never knew you had a cold.

ME: See and THAT is why God has visited a plague on this house.. because YOU are TOO judgmental of me.. and God doesn’t like that for reasons of professional courtesy… cause we are both divas.

HIM: How much cold medicine have you had?

ME: Just a couple of bottles, why?

HIM: Do you even know how to spell the word moderation?

ME: Of course.

HIM: Then Google it, read what it says and get back to me.

ME: Sure, while I’m doing that could you go to the pharmacy, my doctor ordered some fun cold medicine…. The upside to this plague is codeine.

HIM: No Janis. Robitussin is all you get.

ME: You are ABSOLUTELY NO fun.

HIM: You’re no trip to Disneyland either. Drink your tea.

ME: I hate tea.

HIM: Pretend it has drugs and alcohol in it.

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