ME: (Slap Robert on the arm)
HIM: Owww… what’s that for?
ME: Thanks to you God has visited a plague on this house and that’s why we have these colds. (Open up a bottle of cough medicine)
HIM: Can I have some of that before you go into Hollywood Starlette mode and start swigging it straight out of the bottle…
ME: How else are you supposed to drink cough syrup?
HIM: You’re not supposed to drink cough syrup. You’re supposed to take it in the plastic measuring cup they provide.
ME: Well I wouldn’t know because before you I never had a cold.
HIM: No, before me, you’re nose was so full of drugs you never knew you had a cold.
ME: See and THAT is why God has visited a plague on this house.. because YOU are TOO judgmental of me.. and God doesn’t like that for reasons of professional courtesy… cause we are both divas.
HIM: How much cold medicine have you had?
ME: Just a couple of bottles, why?
HIM: Do you even know how to spell the word moderation?
ME: Of course.
HIM: Then Google it, read what it says and get back to me.
ME: Sure, while I’m doing that could you go to the pharmacy, my doctor ordered some fun cold medicine…. The upside to this plague is codeine.
HIM: No Janis. Robitussin is all you get.
ME: You are ABSOLUTELY NO fun.
HIM: You’re no trip to Disneyland either. Drink your tea.
ME: I hate tea.
HIM: Pretend it has drugs and alcohol in it.