Something Dirty

ME: Good morning…I made breakfast.

HIM: Great. What did you make?

ME: A goji berry, hemp protein, sprouted mung bean smoothie

HIM: I would rather get a proctology exam from a blind leper who walks in with 9 fingers.

ME: what do you want for breakfast drama queen

HIM: French toast and bacon.

ME: Not happening.

HIM: But I love Bacon, French Toast, and real maple Syrup.

ME: I can put a tablespoon of real maple syrup in your smoothie… but there’s no bacon in this house,

HIM: I never thought I’d hear those words come out of YOUR mouth. No bacon? REALLY?

ME: I think it’s time for us to visit Farmer John’s and witness the inhumanity of where bacon comes from.

HIM: that’s ok I witnessed the inhumanity of where it goes to for years… you and Jimmy Jack’s Sunday breakfasts

ME: Oh yeah, bacon, sausage, pancakes, eggs, biscuits, and gravy, You and Andy didn’t complain.

HIM: I miss Jimmy and Andy.

ME: They were a cute couple.

HIM: Not as cute as us.

ME: Of course not. Now whisper something dirty in my ear.

HIM: (whispering in my ear) the kitchen, our bathroom, the bedroom, the blender…