ME: Good morning…I made breakfast.
HIM: Great. What did you make?
ME: A goji berry, hemp protein, sprouted mung bean smoothie
HIM: I would rather get a proctology exam from a blind leper who walks in with 9 fingers.
ME: what do you want for breakfast drama queen
HIM: French toast and bacon.
ME: Not happening.
HIM: But I love Bacon, French Toast, and real maple Syrup.
ME: I can put a tablespoon of real maple syrup in your smoothie… but there’s no bacon in this house,
HIM: I never thought I’d hear those words come out of YOUR mouth. No bacon? REALLY?
ME: I think it’s time for us to visit Farmer John’s and witness the inhumanity of where bacon comes from.
HIM: that’s ok I witnessed the inhumanity of where it goes to for years… you and Jimmy Jack’s Sunday breakfasts
ME: Oh yeah, bacon, sausage, pancakes, eggs, biscuits, and gravy, You and Andy didn’t complain.
HIM: I miss Jimmy and Andy.
ME: They were a cute couple.
HIM: Not as cute as us.
ME: Of course not. Now whisper something dirty in my ear.
HIM: (whispering in my ear) the kitchen, our bathroom, the bedroom, the blender…