ME: Wake up! I have to talk to you about something important. I want a divorce.
ME: April Fools!
HIM: That’s not Funny. (Groggily) Is it April Fools today?
HIM: No wonder you’re up and excited. It’s your 2nd favorite holiday.
ME: How could you not know it’s April Fools
HIM: The same way I could not know how many shopping days are left to Thanksgiving… Your other Favorite Holiday.
ME:Yeah I never understood that in you.
HIM: Of course not sweetie, because where you live… the busses just don’t go.
ME: So it’s weigh day, I’m down another 11 pounds!
HIM: Congratulations, I guess.
ME: What do you mean?
HIM: Well I’ve been the more weight you lose… the more wrinkles you get.
HIM: April Fools!
ME: That’s NOT funny.
HIM: Yeah, it’s pretty funny.
ME: Is this really an April Fool’s joke?
HIM: Maybe, maybe not.
ME: You have NO morals! Get the Earthquake Survival Kit.
ME: Because that’s where I keep my Zadro Extra Bright 8x/1x Omni Light magnification mirror.
HIM: WHAT? In our Emergency Earthquake Survival Kit?
ME: Relax we still have that lame emergency kit you made
HIM: With things like bandages, water, dried foods, flash lights, candles… what’s in YOUR emergency kit?
ME: DUH it’s an Emergency Kit… I have Emergency supplies in it..My mirror, make up, booze, some earrings, a wig and some assorted bandanas…
HIM: And how are THOSE things going to help you in an Earthquake?
ME: Three words: Damsel In Distress.