ME: Honey I have a crisis.
HIM: What’s wrong?
ME: People are not able to see my posts on Facebook
HIM: And this is a bad thing?
ME: Yes this is a terrible thing!
HIM: Seriously Billi, this is not a tragedy.
ME: Can you believe this. Facebook does NOT answer their phone they have an ANSWERING machine!
HIM: What I can’t believe is that you’re trying to call Facebook.
ME: Of course I’m trying to call Facebook. This is a serious crisis.
HIM: No, a heart attack is a crisis, an earthquake is a crisis, a Tsunami is a crisis. People not seeing your posts on Facebook is NOT a crisis.
ME: What is wrong with you? If people can’t see my posts then HOW am I supposed to Bask in the glory of being a Michigan Alumnus, trash Notre Dame, Michigan State and Ohio State… and harass Republicans.
HIM: Not to mention do those lame him and me’s that only tell your side of the story and make me seem boring and conservative.
ME: Whose side would I tell but mine? And you are boring and conservative.
HIM: I am not.
ME: Have you ever been a drag queen?
ME: Have you ever been to jail?
HIM: Of course not.
ME: Have you ever been to a Drug-In & Orgy?
HIM: Don’t be ridiculous.
ME: Like I said.. you’re boring and conservative. Now help me deal with this crisis.
HIM: How am I supposed to help you?
ME: I want you to DRIVE me to Facebook’s home office so I can talk to them.
HIM: #1 I’m not going to drive you, and #2 why do you need me to drive you.
ME: Duh, so I can text and update my Facebook status on my phone on the way!