ME: (Waking up, thinking I want to wake him up, but that would be rude… it’s 3:00 a.m… I decide to fake an earthquake… I start shaking the bed)
HIM: Huh, what’s going on?
ME: We’re having an earthquake?
HIM:(suspicious) Funny Lulu didn’t wake up… dogs are usually sensitive to these things.
ME: You know Lulu can sleep through anything that mutt’s not normal… anyway, as long as we’re both up.
HIM: Yesssssssssssssss…. as long as we’re both up NOW…
ME: You know I was looking at our yard yesterday. We have the worse lawn on the block.
HIM: I know, and the inside of our house looks like a Frat House…
ME: What happened to us? We used to have the neatest lawn and tidiest house. We were the model gay couple.
HIM: Yeah but that was before Facebook, Twitter & we got all of those sports packages on Cable.
ME: Yeah, I wonder if it’s had the same effect on straight couples.
HIM: Who could tell, heterosexuals have such horrible taste.
ME: Not all of them, David & Rogena, and Bill & Amy have extremely good taste for heterosexuals.
HIM: True, I’ve always found that curious. Now go back to sleep it’s going to be hot tomorrow, I’m going to have a long workday at the beach, I need to be rested…so DON’T fake another earthquake… (shaking his head, mumbling) you’re insane.. who fakes earthquakes in bed?
ME: (Thinking… Hah! I’ve faked MUCH worse things in this bed).