Hangover

ME: Good morning Sunshine!

HIM: Don’t talk so loud. I have a headache.

ME: Did somebody drink too much?

HIM: Oh God, I’m dehydrated… give me water quick.

ME: Amateur Drunks.

HIM: What did we do last night?

ME: Memory loss, the reward at the bottom of every bottle of booze.

HIM: Why do you look so sad. You didn’t get drunk.

ME: Oh I’m just thinking about this radio show I’m doing with Lillian Muller in March.

HIM: You love Lillian, she’s one of your best friends.

ME: That has nothing to do with this. You know we’re competitive with each other.

HIM: I know that both of you are used to being the center of the attention… and neither of you can stand sharing it.

ME: I don’t mind sharing the attention. It’s her.

HIM: Don’t lie to me when I’m hung over.

ME: You don’t understand.. Lillian just got another magazine cover…

HIM: Well you got your TV show, and your radio show, and what about that Lymphadema thing…

ME: That’s PRECISELY what I’m upset about. They’ve ask me to be the celebrity spokesperson for a disease. This is like being the kid on the UNICEF poster.

HIM: You’re so vain.

ME: No I’m not. And Norwegian TV is going to cover me and Lillian and Jake on the show.

HIM: So that’s great publicity.

ME: Yes… BUT being on Norwegian TV with Lillian is like playing Ohio State in the Shoe…

HIM: Oh right… (mocking) “I don’t mind sharing attention”.

ME: You know I’m glad I took advantage of you when you were drunk.

HIM: What did you do to me?

ME: Nothing (Thinking… now what did I do to your credit cards… TOTALLY DIFFERENT STORY).

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