HIM: I’m home I’m freezing.
ME: You’re all wet.
HIM: Well i had Jet Ski Safety Training and it’s raining.
ME: i made you some hot soup.
HIM: Your boyfriend’s in town.
ME: I know he’s staying at the Beverly Hilton. He’s doing a fundraiser in Holmby Hills, and he’s having his haircut by Flash. I need to go get my haircut.
HIM: You just got a haircut….
ME: He’s not coming in the salon. She’s going to his room… that LUCKY BITCH.
HIM: Imagine Billi, alone in a hotel room with Obama… go ahead salivate…
ME: This is so sad.
ME: I just realized you’re really old when you find the President sexy.
HIM: A lot of women find him sexy, young and old. But you are really old.