HIM: Hi honey I’m home.
ME: I see that.
HIM: What’s wrong with you?
ME: I was shooting all day.
HIM: Shooting what?
ME: Me planting a garden.
HIM: Oh well that’s nice.
ME: (Shocked) WHAT? What do you mean that’s nice? You ALWAYS have a fit when I plant a garden.
HIM: As long as you’re neat about it, and don’t plant any contraband.
ME: Are you having an affair? Why are you being so agreeable?
HIM: You’ve already planted the garden right?
ME: Yes, and I borrowed Mr. Carrillos shovel, and you’ll never believe what happened.
HIM: You broke it.
ME: How’ did you know?
HIM: Cause you’re like I Love Lucy–the Hell Version.