HIM: I thought you were coming to my beach today.
ME: I couldn’t find my fins.
HIM: Oh too bad.
ME: How was your day?
HIM: It was fine except I was expecting a big disruptive storm to show up… but then you never came.
ME: Are you insinuating I’m a disruption.
HIM: No, I’m saying you are worse than a Tsunami. If I had my way, I’d make you wear a buoy with a bell, so when you got close to my beach, we could evacuate.
ME: Who wants to come to your tacky beach anyway you run it like an anal Nazi with IBS.
HIM: I am responsible for order and safety at the ocean. And that means rules must be followed… and the last time you obeyed a rule I was in grade school.
ME: Not true. you’re just the fun police and your rules are ridiculous.
HIM: Oh well… you’ve lost your fins, so it’s not an issue.
ME: Wait a minute… YOU hid my fins didn’t you?
ME: Why would you do that?
HIM: To avoid your funeral and my trial.