(Me & My Cardiologist)
ME: Hi Walter wassup?
HIM: Does a cardiologist have to have a reason to call his least favorite patient?
ME: I’m glad you called I’m downtown buying fish and veggies. What’s the name of that thing from Peru you want me to eat?
HIM: Quinoa. They have it at Whole Foods.
ME: I’m Black I don’t go to Whole Foods. I refuse to pay $5.00 for an apple.
HIM: Yeah, but going downtown dealing with that element.
ME: What element?
HIM: It’s a little too proletariat for me.
ME: You’re such an elitist.
HIM: I’m not an elitist. I would just rather pay extra to shop among pretty people.
ME: There’s pretty people down here.
ME: Yeah, I’m down here.
HIM: Other than you. BTW I want you to go on line to this herb site and buy some Hemp protein.
ME: Can you get high from it?
HIM: Well, I get a little high from it, but I’m really pure. I doubt you will.
ME: Does it taste bad?
HIM: You don’t eat it for the taste. It doesn’t dissolve, so It’s a little hard to swallow, but I doubt you would have a problem with that…(chuckles) just don’t spit it out after you’re done drinking it. (laughs because he THINKS he’s funny) So what are you getting?
ME: Shrimp, Scallops, Scottish Salmon, Chilean Sea Bass.
HIM: Pricey Stuff. Chilean Sea Bass is $40/lb,
ME: At Whole Foods maybe. But down here It’s $5.00/lb And they just gave me 3 pounds free, that they had left over because it’s Saturday, and they’re closed on Sundays…
HIM: WHAT? That’s outrageous. I should come down there. Do you think my Porsche would be safe?
ME: Yeah, but you won’t get the bargains I get.
HIM: Why not?
ME: Because you’re white and obnoxious.
HIM: But I have Negro tendencies.
ME: That’s true. I’ll write you a note. I gotta go. I’m rushing home to read the new Neuron.
HIM: (sarcastic) Oh I bet that has a great centerfold. I don’t want to find the pages all sticky when I come over. (laughs,… because again he THINKS he’s funny)
ME: Do I make fun of “Circulation” or the “European Heart Journal”?
HIM: That;’s cause they rock!