The New Prozac

HIM: You’re up early.
ME: Big Day, gotta go downtown and get fish and veggies, then come back and watch Michigan beat Ohio State like Ike used to beat Tina!
HIM: Let’s just cut to the chase! (Mocking me) “He’s a beast!… Hey bro wassup! I was just about to call you. Yeah I saw that… Trey Burke is a beast! We could go all the way to the final four! Next year we’re going to be national champions in football and basketball… Dude we’re beasts… okay call me back at half time bro.”
ME:I do not sound like that.
HIM: You sound EXACTLY like that. Unless of course Michigan loses then it’s… “Hey bro… I know… that’s okay… this game wasn’t important… it doesn’t matter we’re Michigan we’re still superior… okay I’ll call you back in a few.” Then you turn on the VCR and watch the end of the Notre Dame Michigan football game, The entire Michigan Nebraska football game, The end of the Sugar Bowl, the end of the Ohio State Michigan Basketball game in Ann Arbor… and then arrogance is restored to normal.
ME: How long have you been spying on me?
HIM: Spying? They can hear you in Arizona when a Michigan game is on. And if I go outside, I can hear Clary from New York, and Rob from Ohio… you guys are insane.
ME: You don’t get it. Michigan Sports are the new Prozac.

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