(Me & God)
HER: Well thanks for the laugh.
ME: How dare you laugh at my struggles. This is not funny. I’m in the Grips of Grief.
HER: You’re such a drama queen. In retrospect I should have made you one of the chosen people.
ME: In retrospect you should have made me perfect. If you’re so powerful why can’t you just make me perfect? I want to be perfect.
HER: Yeah I know, and the people in hell want iced beverages and central air–want, want, want…
ME: You’re such a lesbian—just go away.
HER: I’ll honor that request when you’re begging me to help Michigan in the NCAA tournament.
ME: You’re a horrible God, with no sense of humor.
HER: I know, and I also wear sensible shoes and lots of plaid flannel… and it’s ALL your fault.
ME: How is that MY fault?
HER: Being your God is a ROUGH gig. I have to man up.