Sneaking Past A Canary

HIM: Why do you have all of these pictures of guys on your FB page?

ME: I dunno, they were cute.

HIM: Who is this Arab guy?

ME: I dunno, Sayed, or something

HIM: Well I don’t like it.

ME: Oh please, I just thought he was cute and deserved to appear on my page. I was just being nice.

HIM: I’m not buying it cause you’re NOT nice,

ME: I am too, and you know me, always shopping, never buying. I love you.

HIM: I know you’re seedy!

ME: I am NOT!  And I have NEVER been seedy.

HIM: Please when I met you I use to have to sneak you past Canaries you were so seedy.   (Looks in the mirror) I’m looking old.

ME: You’re beautiful to me.

HIM: No look at me and tell me what you see.

ME: I see beautiful blue eyes and the man I love.

HIM: You’re such an ass hole. Tell me the truth. I look like an old white man, don’t I? Don’t I?

ME:: (thinking why do people ask questions they do NOT want the answer to) Well look at me I found some gray hairs.

HIM: I beginning to get old white man syndrome, My hair is thinning, I’m getting wrinkles.

ME: You’re beautiful to me.

HIM: Why didn’t you tell me I looked this old?

ME: Cause you don’t look old to me. I have gray hair.

HIM: I have no hair! You have 2 or 3 gray hairs, and you can pluck gray hair. You can’t pluck a wrinkle, or a receding hair line.

ME: (knowing he’s not getting off this train anytime soon) You should eat better.

HIM: I should. Do you think it will affect my looks.

ME: Yeah, You eat too much processed food and not enough protein.

HIM: Tomorrow I’m going to stop eating cookies, and eat more protein.

ME: (seeing an opportunity) You looked great when you were eating a lot of fish, and fresh veggies.

HIM: I’m going back to that. But I have to get up early, and instead of having a cookie, I’m going to have a health bar.

ME: A health bar is just a cookie in drag.

HIM: (looking in the mirror) When I look at myself in the mirror I don’t turn myself on anymore.

ME: Honey, trust me on this one, that’s a good thing..

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

3 + 15 =