HIM: So can I go to the Spearmint Rhino with my buddies from work?
ME: That sleazy strip club downtown by USC?
HIM: Well I don’t know how sleazy it is. I’ve never been there. I heard so much about it.
ME: Sure go ahead, have fun.
HIM: You’re mad. I won’t go.
ME: I’m not mad. Seriously, go ahead, have fun. I’m sure Tucker would love a little brother.
HIM: That was uncalled for. I won’t go.
ME: I was joking. No seriously go. Oh and do me a favor. Tell Candy, Tiki and Amber I said hi.
HIM: You know girls who work there?
ME: Yeah, I know a bunch of girls that work there. Remember when I got She-Devil pole dancing lessons for her birthday a long time ago… She became friends with a bunch of strippers, and I met them all and you know me, I’m gregarious and I keep in touch with people.
HIM: Well I’m coming home.
ME: Why? I thought you were going to the Spearmint Rhino with you buddies from work.
HIM: How can I have any fun at a strip club where you know the girls? If I even think about doing anything, they’re going to be on the phone to you. Not that I would do anything.
ME: Of course you wouldn’t.
HIM: We’re just going to drink. Luca gave up happy endings for Lent. And the other guys are married like me, or have steady girlfriends.
ME: I’m sure it’s just clean fun. That’s why you should go. You deserve it for keeping our beaches safe.
HIM: Nah, I’ll just come home.
ME: (Thinking… and this is one of the advantages of being married to a real blonde… they’ll believe anything)