ME: I want you to help me dust the trophy case.
HIM: You mean your shrine.
ME: Don’t hate me for being ambitious. A man without ambition is just an dead man waiting to happen.
HIM: I don’t have a problem with the ambition. It’s the pretentious part that’s hard to swallow.
ME: It’s not hard to swallow for me.
HIM: Nothing is hard to swallow for you. You could swallow the Washington Monument.
ME: I was captain of the Sword swallowing team in college… it was a club sport so to speak … Don’t judge me.
HIM: I’m not. It’s one of the best buttons on your dial… too bad they don’t give trophies for that. (laughs)
ME: They do… What do you think you are?
HIM: So you ADMIT IT! I’m a trophy husband!
ME: Don’t flatter yourself lollipop… I just needed a good comeback line.