Trophy Queen

HIM: Hi Honey I’m home. How was your day?
ME: Horrible. I’m depressed. How was yours?
HIM: I won this scholarship and they gave me this certificate.
ME: Fabulous. I can’t wait to put it our trophy case.
HIM: You are such a trophy queen.
ME: No I’m not.
HIM: You have a shrine to yourself in our dining room.
ME: The TV show made me put that up there so they could film it.
HIM: That was a year ago…
ME: I haven’t had time to take it down. Plus I’m honoring the people who gave us our awards, and I have your trophies in their too.
HIM: Only as filler.
ME: I do NOT need any filler.
HIM: Are we talking trophy case or face…
ME: Bitch! I don’t need filler on my face!
HIM: I had to make a speech. I hate making speeches.
ME: I LOVE making speeches. Cherrywood. That’s JUST what we need to mount this with. It will match the wood on the base of my model of the year trophy.
HIM:Oh THAT… you should have Patrick see if he can get a few of the outer layers of dust off of that.
ME: Vicious bitch! But you can’t ruin my great mood.
HIM: I thought ou had a horrible day, and were depressed.
ME: That was before you brought home this award. I wonder if the frame shop is open.
HIM: Not this late.
ME: You’d think LA would have an all night frame shop.
HIM: (rolls his eyes) You’d think. I mean with all the emergency trophy case redecorating going on.
ME: You don’t appreciate me..
HIM: Yes I do, and I LOVE many things about you.
ME: Name one.
HIM: The fact that all I need to do to distract you is throw a mirror in your path.
ME: I’m insulted! You have NEVER….
HIM: Patrick…. could you bring the hand mirror…

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