HIM: Good morning Honey you’re up early
ME: It’s weigh day, and I’m excited about my radio show.
HIM: How’d you do?
ME: Down 4 pounds.
HIM: I wish I could get more fat on my body. It would help me with my buoyancy, which is good for swimming. Fat floats.
ME: I know.
HIM: I bet. (laughs)
ME: You know I could make you more buoyant.
ME: I could just put you on a high buoyancy diet.
HIM: I can imagine. No thanks.
ME: It’s quite simple: Buoyancy force = weight of the object in empty space − weight of object immersed in fluid.
ME: Archimedes’ principle for buoyancy.
HIM: Who remembers stuff like that?
ME: Anybody that was paying attention in physics class as opposed to worrying about sinking at swim practice.
HIM: You’re such a nerd.
ME: No I’m not… of course… In order for Archimedes’ principle to be used alone, the object in question must be in equilibrium, meaning the sum of the forces on the object must be zero,
HIM: DOWN NERD DOWN.
ME: And what’s interesting about this is the depth to which a floating object will sink, and the volume of fluid it will displace, is independent of the gravitational field regardless of geographic location.
HIM: Let me file this immediately under who the fuck cares.
ME: Of course seawater….
HIM: I said DOWN NERD Be a good! Don’t make me get the whip.
ME: That’s why you can’t float… You’re too rude. And I AM NOT A NERD. And how dare you use the N word with me on the Sabbath!