HIM: So I’m moving the marginata back into a pot and thinking of putting a fuchsia in that place. What do you think?
ME: I think the marginata is fabulous where it is.
HIM: It doesn’t fit there. It’s not the right kind of plant.
ME: It’s like Diana Ross and the other plants are like the Supremes.
HIM: No it’s like Diana Ross and a Mexican marimba band.
ME: Lies and vicious rumors… the plant stays!
HIM: It goes, and by the way I rearranged the patio. It was all wrong. My dahlia will get too much sun where you had it. ME: And let me guess you moved the palm back to where you had it.
HIM: Yes, I have had that Palm since my father packaged Fantasy Island, and we all took a family vacation to Hawaii with the show…
ME: Yes, yes, I know.
HIM: And he said I could ANY thing I wanted as a souvenir and I chose that exotic miniature palm.
ME: Let me get this straight. You go to Hawaii, and your dad says you can get anything you want, and you choose a potted plant?
HIM: Yeah, it was beautiful. My brothers bought Surf boards and wet suits, and that stuff’s all gone now, but I STILL have my plant.
ME: And he yet he was actually surprised when he found out you were gay… Denial be’s a deep river.
HIM: You’re a dick.
ME: Well you know what they say, you are what you eat.
HIM: You’re also disgusting. Now where should we put the marginata once I put it back in a pot.
ME: I know where I’d like to put it, but it won’t get much sun up there.