HIM: Hi honey I’m home. I had a terrible day. I forgot my sunglasses, had to use my emergency back ups. Do you think they look terrible on me?
ME: (Without looking, I know the answers to this quiz) No they look great. I like them better in some ways.
HIM: Really” Good. Cause it’s tourist season you know and they all want to have their pictures taken with the lifeguard…
ME: Of course, (thinking… and he calls me vain)
HIM: How was your day?
ME: Lesbian like. I staked the tomatoes in the vegetable garden, put mulch in garden and the front flower beds, rearranged the back patio, took the marginata out of the pot and planted it.. picked veggies…
HIM: (Not listening of course) By the way, that marginata is a house plant it’ll die in the ground.
ME: The roots were breaking through the pot.
HIM: So we’ll just get a bigger pot.
ME: It will be better in the ground, and it won’t die. The Carrillos had it outside for years before Mrs. Carillos gave it to me. And we’ve had it on our porch for a year. So it’s fine outside.
HIM: Well I don’t like it there.
ME: And your point is?
HIM: My point is get a bigger pot, and put it back on the porch because I’m the man in this house and you should do what I say… woman!
ME: Do NOT play with me. If you want something to play with we will go to Toys R Us and you get a beach ball. But do not play with me because I am DANGEROUS and in NO MOOD.
HIM: Oh, you’ve been watching Martha Stewart. What did she make that you tried and couldn’t do. I told you not to watch Martha Stewart.
ME: First of all I can do anything… I’m a doctor AND a Michigan man. 2nd of all I made it. It just took longer than I thought that’s all. And yeah I’ve been watching Martha Stewart. What about it?