5:00 A.M. (I wake up I see the shadow of a man outside my window with an axe… I call 9-1-1.
ME: Robert! Robert! Where are you? There’s a man out side the window with an axe!!!
HIM: It’s me I’m trimming the ficus trees.
ME: At 5:00 in the morning? That’s ridiculous
HIM: Who made you the tree trimming police.
ME: Police OMG. (try to call 9-1-1 back.. too late, sirens, police are all over the yard… I go to the door to explain) Sorry Officer it was my husband. He decided to trim the ficus at 5:00 a.m. I thought he was a prowler, but it’s his fault he’s weird. Who trims shrubs at this hour.
POLICE OFFICER: That doesn’t seem that weird to me. He likes to get up early. Nice orchids. Have a nice day.
HIM: I can’t believe you!!! Why did you call the police?
ME: Cause I thought you were an axe murderer.
HIM: I have hedge clippers not an axe.
ME: So you could be a stupid axe murderer.
HIM: Why must you ALWAYS overreact.
ME: I did not overreact. Trimming the ficus at 5:00 a.m. is weird. Nobody would expect that.
HIM: The police thought YOU were weird, NOT me. You ALWAYS overreact. You’ve been overreacting since the day I met you, and if we live for a million light years you’ll still be overreacting.