HIM: What are you thinking about?
ME: The time I got high on quaaludes in Columbus and went to a Bob Seger concert at St. John’s Arena in 1978
HIM: (Rolls his eyes) What’s so special about that?
ME: The next thing I remember was waking up in one his roaddie trucks at Arrowhead Stadium a month later wearing the same jeans but a different halter top.
HIM: A month later?
ME: I vaguely remember something about being in Pittsburgh, yeah, backstage at Civic Arena… but it’s fuzzy.
HIM: Your life is fuzzy, fuzzy and sleazy.
ME: Boy were those jeans stained.
HIM: Your life is a stain.
ME: Don’t judge me.
HIM: Don’t judge you? You go to a concert, high on illegal drugs… and don’t remember what, not to mention who, you did for a month.
ME: We don’t know that I did anybody.
HIM: Oh please. Traveling in drag with a rock and roll tour.
ME: Okay, but still, it was the 70’s AND there were a lot of good things about that experience.
HIM: Oh really? Like what?
ME: Well I bought a really cute new halter top in Kansas City and got some fabulous jewelry AND I met Mick and Ian?
HIM: They must have been REALLY special you remember their names.
ME: They were in Foreigner, I met them back stage, I wasn’t a big Foreigner fan, but they were nice British boys, and they had some killer cocaine. And they bought me some jewelry.
HIM: Of course, and you’re a big fan of cocaine and men buying you jewelry.
ME: They were REALLY into black girls
HIM: But you were a drag queen.
ME: Yeah, what’s your point.
HIM: They were into black girls and you were a man.
ME: Technically, BUT… I was black, I looked and acted like a girl–close enough–It was 70’s; it was the orgy era; nobody was into details back then; plus we were all on drugs.
HIM: (very pensive)
ME: What’re you thinking about?
HIM: How merciful memory loss is.
ME: Yup the reward at the bottom of every bottle of booze, prescription pills, or bag of narcotics.