Top Ten Great Comments/Moments with the kids I mentor:
#10 (Adam) Assignment: Make a list of your goals/ he scribbles out an illegible list takes a picture of it with his phone and forwards it to me.
#9 (Russ) I call him he says, “I can’t talk Billi I’m driving, I’ll text you.”
#8 (Duan) We’re on the phone (some girl walks by wearing high heels) He says, “I hear high heels” (I say how can you hear high heels over the phone?) He says, “I told you I was gifted, now do you believe me.”
#7 (Randall) “Well my dream job is interviewing lap dancers but I’ll take Sports Announcer for ESPN”
#6 (Amber) “I’m a model. Why would I carry money? I don’t need it I’m pretty.”
#5 (Duey) (In a room full of 30 & 40 year old bitter women) “I met this chick. She was kinda hot but she was ancient. She was like 24,”
#4 (Duey) (In a room full of 30 & 40 year old bitter women) “You were right Dr. G… the way to go is to have a rich girlfriend and save the hotties for booty calls” (I say, I did NOT say that. I SAID, you should not choose a girlfriend just because she’s a hottie. You should look for important qualities, there’s a difference between a girlfriend and a hook-up) He says, “Yeah, and rich is a very important quality, check out this Nautica she bought me, I’m wearing it on my booty call tonight with this hottie I met online.”
#3 (Dominic) Stands next to me at a urninal…in a crowded bathroom…and says..”Hey Dr. G. See I’m not afraid to pee next to a homo.”
#2 (Brittany) “You gotta help me figure out what to tell my teacher. See I ditched class on the day of the final. BUT for a VERY GOOD reason. I discovered if you have oral sex with guys they’ll buy you expensive things… Don’t you just LOVE this Prada hand bag and matching shoes, and this Bvlgari bracelet, and these Manolos and all this Gucci… AND I discovered Giuseppe Zanotti! Oh and by the way, wouldn’t happen to have a breath mint?”
(And a tie for #1)
#1 (Robin) She’s very late for a very important presentation that is key to getting her into graduate school. I send her a text: Where are you? She texts back: Who is this? Where r U? with a winking smiley.
#1 (Nicole) Dr. G I have to drop out of medical school. I can’t stand the sight of blood. (I say well why would you go to medical school) She replies, “I got so caught up in the competition of getting in I forgot that I faint at the sight of blood.”
#1 (Josh) “You’re right doctor G. She is perfect for me. That’s not the problem. The problem is I’m perfect for a lot of girls… I mean A LOT…and I JUST can’t say no. You can call it weak and sleazy. I prefer to call it sweet.”