HIM: Are you awake?
ME: I doubt it because if I were, I’d be strangling you.
HIM: I just wanted to spend some quality time with you.
ME: We spent the whole evening together.
HIM: You were watching the hockey game and I was playing on the computer.
ME: We were in the the same room–it’s quality time technically.
HIM: I just wanted to talk…
ME: (Thinking: OMG He’s like a woman that can fix things. I’m married to a lesbian) (Sigh) Talk about what?
HIM: You know it was Queen Elizabeth’s jubilee.
ME: You disturb my MUCH NEEDED beauty rest to talk about some other old queen, when you know I have to face cameras tomorrow.
HIM: I wonder why the Brit’s tolerate that royal family.
ME: BIRGing (Basking In Reflective Gory) Just like sports fans. They claim the royal family’s successes as their own, like sports fans claim the success of their teams as their own. “We won” actually no, we didn’t play… they won; we watched and tweeted about it.
HIM: Oh you mean like you with Michigan…
ME: No that’s different.
HIM: How is that different?
ME: You’ve heard of “The Michigan Difference” right?
HIM: How could I not have being married to you?
ME: Well that’s an example of it. When it’s a Michigan alum and Michigan sports it’s not BIRGING.
HIM: Well what is it then?
ME: I told you “The Michigan Difference” of course I wouldn’t expect a USC alum to understand that.
HIM: Okay, go back to sleep. I’ve had ENOUGH quality time with you.
ME: (Thinking: absurd ridiculous comments–free; being able to drill for nerves in him half asleep-priceless)… and THAT is truly, “The Michigan Difference”… LOL)