Bitches

Me & Lulu (our old English sheepdog)
ME: Lulu move, I have to get to the scale it’s weigh day.
HER: woof woof (EVERY Sunday, you disrupt my nap to weigh. Let me save you the time… YOU’RE STIILL FAT…
ME: Would you please move! Why are you such a bitch!
HER: woof woof (Because I’m a female dog. What’s your excuse?)
ME: Oh great I lost 7 pounds.
HER: (woof woof) probably from the haircut. You don’t look any smaller.
ME: Go get the ball!
HER: woof woof (You go get it, you threw it).
(HE comes home.)
HIM: Lulu I brought you a treat!
HER: woof woof (Oh daddy I’m so glad you’re home. You’re so wonderful, and it was awful here with this fat bitch. She made me move. Kiss me, pet me, adore me…
ME: You didn’t bring me anything?
HIM: Well you could have one of these dog treats
HER: woof woof (Like you need the carbs)
HIM: Could you whip me up some breakfast I’m starved and running late for work. And here’s a list of things for you to remind Patrick to do… and.. and.. and…
HER: (looking up from her dog treat) Woof, woof, woof, woof… (Okay it’s obvious that were are both bitches… I understand that… but now could you explain to me again, who the dog is.)
ME: Life’s a bitch
HER: Woof Woof (Or a Series of series of bitches)

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

twenty + twelve =