(Me and My Cardiologist)
HIM: Whew! HOW Much cologne do you have on?
ME: Are you saying I’m wearing too much cologne?
HIM: Not if you’re a rugby team. It smells like a French Brothel in this room.
ME: Well YOU would know. You spent a lot of time in France
HIM: I have some WONDERFUL NEWS
ME: Really what?
HIM: Amy’s back in town and she can take over your admission and they can BLOW UP her digits NOT mine cause I have more important things to deal with.
ME: Like what? Your hair.
HIM: Precisely! I’m going to Rome and I have to have my hair cut correctly and I fired my cutter…
ME: You’re so vain.
HIM: I’M SO VAIN? You can smell the perfume from this room when you get off the elevator… and you have 5 combs on your table.
ME: That’s because when all else is removed… the hair and the fragrance remain.
HIM: I doubt very seriously that matters to Internet porn.
ME: I’m NOT going down stairs to Chernobyl.
HIM: Yes you are.
ME: No I’m not. They hate me down there.
HIM: (Smiling) I know. Cowboy up. You’re going.
(His cell phone rings) Oh hi Amy. (Distraught look on his face) No, uh uh, no I thought you were out of town… no of course not… of course. I’m really sorry.
ME: Who was that? (as if I didn’t know)
HIM: That was Amy and she’s livid. She got back in town Wednesday. You told me she was up north. Now she thinks I over stepped my bounds.
ME: Well I thought she was up north. So what did she want?
HIM: The CT scans are cancelled.
ME: Really? Guess I’m not going downstairs to Chernobyl. (Thinking: Wolverine 5 Badger 1)