The Orgasm Diet

HIM: Good morning, I’m back.
ME: How was your swim?
HIM: Great. So I read an article about a 750 pound black woman
ME: Yeah, and so…
HIM: Well she’s lost over 300 pounds…
ME: Great! And…
HIM: And her husband only weighs 140 pounds, and he’s white too..
ME: And your point is…
HIM: She has been losing weight because her husband makes sure that she has 16 orgasms a day.
ME: Where are you going with this?
HIM: You know I weigh 155 pounds…
ME: So lose 15 pounds and get back to me.
HIM: Seriously? THAT’S your first thought?
ME: (Thinking: No, Actually, My FIRST thought was what’s her husband’s name, and give him my number… but if marriage has taught me one thing… it’s NEVER speak your first thought!)

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