(Me & Wally the Evil Badger Cardiologist)
HIM: What the hells been going on in this room?
ME: Nothing why?
HIM: It looks like a parking lot after a Heavy Metal concert in here.
ME: Oh me, this young director I know and some of the nurses had a little soire last night.
HIM: I can tell. Your face looks like a Frat house couch.
ME: (looking in the mirror There’s graham cracker crumbs embedded in my face.) It’ not what you think.
HIM: mhmm…. so HOW MANY graham crackers did you eat.
ME: None. I was sitting in the chair, people were eating graham crackers on my bed…, and when I went to sleep there were crumbs in my bed. You know I don’t eat wheat.
HIM: Fair enough…. So I found this great porn site… Porn Hub… Check it out… sign into the private wifi…
(We’re looking at the site….)
HIM: (Abruptly) Dr. Gordon I have to go see another patient.
ME: Huh? (I turn around, and the Catholic Chaplain is standing there. Cowardly Wally runs out of the room)
ME: Father Victor it’s NOT what it looks like.
HIM: I’m afraid it is exactly what it looks like.
ME: (overwhelmed by catholic guilt) I guess we should start by you hearing my confession.
HIM: I wish I had known I was going to hear your confession. I would have brought a lunch.