(Me Amd Wally the Evil Badger Cardiologist)
ME: Walter why are you calling so early?
HIM: Because Cardionet called me an hour ago… you’ve been off your monitor. WHAT is going on.
ME: (thinking: floor length black drapes… what am I going to tell him. I can’t tell him I broke this monitor) Oh I can explain.
HIM: Then explain.
ME: Well… first can I talk to you about something?
HIM: Of course you’re my friend, what is it? And make it quick.
ME: (A TOTAL LIE) Well CAA is setting up a meeting with me and Dr. Oz. We might do a weight loss show together…
HIM: WHAT? MEHMET OZ??? I HATE MEHMET OZ. HE’S A IDIOT, A TOTAL SELL OUT! NO HUMILITY.
ME: (Thinking: Come into my den, said the Wolverine to the Badger…)
HIM: You’re not considering it? TELL ME YOU’RE NOT CONSIDERING IT.
ME: Well it’s a LOT of money. And he has a huge audience.
HIM: Fools, old fools, the Web MD crowd. Brilliant doctors like myself, don’t have time for that.
ME: (Thinking: “brilliant doctors like myself” oh yeah, Mehmet Oz has no humility but you do…. LOL) But I thought you were going tot be on my show?
HIM: I am but that’s different. I’m going to be brilliant and change the world. Mehmet Oz is just a poser.
ME: Yeah, you’re right. I’ll have CAA cancel that meeting.
HIM: Good. Now what’s going on with the heart monitor?
ME: Oh I dropped it at USC yesterday… and broke it.
HIM: Just call them, and tell them to send out a replacement.
ME: Okay, you’re not mad?
HIM: No accidents happen. So you’re canceling this meeting with Mehmet Oz right?
ME: Not a chance in the world that it’s going to happen (Thinking: Well that part’s true.,. Woverine 6 Badger 1