HIM: I’m freaked out about this Jury Duty.
ME: Yeah, yeah, yeah… I have some GREAT NEWS.
HIM: Really? What?
ME: MY CELLPHONE will be back from the manufacturer tomorrow!!!
HIM: What am I going to do about this jury duty?
ME: I tried to solve the problem for you, but you wouldn’t let me.
HIM: Throwing away the summons is not solving the problem.
ME: It solves it for me. Besides I told you my cellphone will be back tomorrow. Then the problem will be solved.
HIM: How will that solve the problem?
ME: My cellphone is full of judges’ phone numbers that can fix this for you.
HIM: Although, I’m afraid to ask.. how, and why do you have judges phone numbers?
ME: Why? Because I don’t want to go to jail, and some people, like law enforcement for example have NO sense of humor.
HIM: Because you’re a criminal.
ME: See that’s the reason they picked you for jury duty… you’re so judgmental….
HIM: It’s random… So HOW do you know judges?
ME: Well lawyers grow up to be judges…and actually I know a lot through you.
HIM: Me? Really? No. I don’t know any judges.
ME: Your relatives funerals are packed with judges and other powerful white folks.
HIM: You’ve been working my family functions for social connections… (laughs) you are SO MUCH like my mother.
ME: Beautiful and sophisticated?
HIM: No, insidious and insane.
ME: I’m insulted. But I’m SO excited about my cell phone… I don’t care. And you know I’ve been thinking.
HIM: I’m almost afraid to ask.. about what?
ME: The person who invented the vibrator
ME: Yeah, I wonder if he was a schizophrenic.
HIM: Why would you wonder about that?
ME: I’m wondering if he heard voices… you know like…, “If you build it they will come.”