And You Can Call Me Dr. Gordon

(Me & The Young Chief Resident Physician)
ME: Dr. Zall
HIM: You can call me Ron
HIM: And you can call me Dr. Gordon.
ME: When can I call you by your first name?
ME: Someday, maybe… we’ll see… so what do you want?
HIM: Well I have good news your white count in going down. How do you feel?
ME: Like the southwest corner of a sapphic Mandrill’s left titty.
HIM: Is that good or bad?
ME: Are you a dyke?
HIM: NO. How could I be? I’m a man.
ME: Some men are butch enough to be dykes; you’re not… but some guys are…
HIM: Yeah well… well moving on… Do you feel good or bad. (stops and pauses)
HIM: Wait a minute. I am VERY masculine. You don’t have to play sports to be masculine.
ME: (Thinking: struck the nerd nerve….hahaha)
HIM: I don’t appreciate that comment. What are you a Jewish mother? And god knows NOBODY goes through male-self esteem like a Jewish mother…
ME: Relax… I’m sure you’re at least half man your mother was.
HIM: (Pissed) Look how do you feel? Good or bad DOCTOR Gordon. JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!
ME: Look at me. I look terrible.
HIM: So you normally don’t look like this?
ME: Honey I’m not you. I’m pretty, I’m not supposed to look like this. Look at my face… it would take 4 sky caps to handle the bags under my eyes….
HIM: No… NOT 4… maybe 2…3 at the most…
ME:Vicious remark.. and veiled insult… VERY GOOD… Okay you can call me Billi…
HIM: (Smiling) Good. I like that. So how do you feel?
ME: Come back tomorrow and I’ll answer your question.
HIM: BUT i NEED the answer today.
ME: One triumph per day. I don’t want to undo ALL of your mother’s work right away…..

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