(ME And Wally The Evil Badger Cardiologist)
ME: Happy Best Friends Day!
HIM: I”m not getting you a gift.
ME: You never get me any gifts. Birthdays, Christmas.
HIM: That is not true. And you give me TERRIBLE gifts!
ME: I do not.
HIM: My last birthday you gave me a portable glory hole.
ME: You have to admit that was funny.
HIM: I opened that thing in front my staff.
ME: Well that part was unfortunate.
HIM: The UNFORTUNATE part was that the head of cardiology at Cedars was also at my party.
ME: (lying) So I got you a great best friend’s day gift.
HIM: I don’t want it.
ME: Yes you do… Wally…
HIM: Okay, I’ll get you something… I’ll bring you back some Herbs of Provence and some Abbaye de Belloc…
ME: What the hell is Abbaye de Belloc?
HIM: It’s gourmet sheep’s cheese. How can you be gay and not know this?
ME: I have a better question. How can you know this and think you’re straight?