HIM: Hi honey I’m home.
ME: You’re home early. Something wrong?
HIM: Yeah, WHY are you posting all of these men on your page… AGAIN?
ME: Cause I was in an argument with Greg Easter about whether or not American men were cuter than Russian men… and I was proving a point.
HIM: Come on Russian men homely as hell. It was their ugliness that staved off the Germans in WWII.
ME: What does Greg know about hot men? He’s straight.
HIM: Yeah… his idea of a hot man is somebody that can kill a bear with a vodka bottle.
ME: Well that is kind of butchalicious.
HIM: I could kill a bear with a vodka bottle.
ME: No you couldn’t.
HIM: Yes I could. I would just hit him between the eyes with the vodka bottle…
ME: And then what?
HIM: And then I’d shoot him.
ME: And if he didn’t die and you were out of bullets?
HIM: Then I’d tell you that the bear pinched my ass and you’d beat the bear to death.