Neighborhood Watch

HIM: That guy down the street’s a TOTAL DICK.
ME: The one on the other side of Mrs. Carrillos?
HIM: Yeah, What’s his problem?
ME: Well there are three.
HIM: Really?
ME: Yes. 1) He’s an Executive at Fox, 2) He’s an idiot, and 3) He as a small penis.
HIM: HOW did you find all of this out?
ME: I knew he was hiding something because every time I asked his wife what he did, she changed the subject… So I googled him… That’s how I found out he was an Executive at Fox..
HIM: Oh no wonder she was embarrassed.
ME: Exactly, and he had the NERVE to bring his mistress to their house for a quickie while his wife was at work … THAT’S how I know HE’S AN IDIOT.
HIM: Not to mention sleazy, cheap and tacky.
ME: I know. And When I told his mistress that he had another mistress who was a real blonde who drove a Ferrari… THAT’S how I found out he had a small penis.
HIM: He has two mistresses?
ME: No, I just told her that.
HIM: So you told her a lie?
ME: Stop thinking like a man… It’s only a lie if they can prove it… besides this was political… his mistress has space between her thighs…

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