(Me And Wally the Evil Badger Cardiologist)
ME: Wally… good morning
HIM: (Hung over and pissed off) Why the fuck must you insist on calling me early on Sunday mornings.
ME: I’m lonely. Robert went to work.
HIM: This is not a medical problem. Call your psychiatrist.
ME: I thought we were best friends.
HIM: You’re my best friend. I”m not your best friend. Call Alex
ME: Oh just wake up and talk to me. You have to wake up anyway we have to do the radio show.
HIM: The radio show is at 4 in the afternoon. It’s 8 o clock in the fucking morning.
ME: Did you have a bad night Wally?
HIM: Terrible. NEVER tell a stripper you’re a doctor.
ME: Of course NOT! What’s wrong with you?
HIM: Usually telling chick’s you’re a doctor gets you laid.
ME: At a strip club, money get’s you laid… unless you’re Duan… in which case you just need to be in the mood.
HIM: I hate him.
ME: Yeah, we all do. But Walter you have to use your professional information judiciously.
HIM: What do you mean?
ME: When you tell people you’re a doctor. At a club yes; at a STRIP club NO. On a plane yes; at the auto mechanic NO. At a party yes; At a yard sale no.
HIM: I don’t go to yard sales. I’m not white trash.
ME: You don’t shop at yard sales… but you are DEFINITELY white trash, and if you keep telling strippers you’re a doctor, you’ll DEFINITELY be shopping at yard sales.