HIM: How come you’re sleeping with sunglasses on?
ME: Because I’m brilliant and I love you.
ME: You know how when I wake up in the morning and the sun is shining bright…
HIM: (sighs) Yes… and you let out a blood curdling scream, then grab your sunglasses.
ME: EXACTLY! And you hate that…
HIM: Me, the neighbors, and every cat in the neighborhood.
ME: Sleeping with my sunglasses on solves the problem.
HIM: Seriously, this is your solution to this? Too weird.
ME: What? You are always bitching at me about not planning for the future… so I plan for the future… and you call me weird. I am NOT weird! YOU are passive aggressive.