Me and Wally The Evil Badger Cardiologist.
ME: I want you to write me a prescription for Androl.
HIM: And your Wolverines want to be in the B1G Ten Championship game… and that’s not happening either.
ME: Fuck you. I want Androl. My testosterone is low.
HIM: So are your morals but I’m not prescribing anything for that either.
ME: You just want me to stay fat cause you’re a chubby chaser.
HIM: I am NOT gay, and I am NOT a chubby chaser.
ME: Then why won’t you give me the Androl?
HIM: Why do you want testosterone?
ME: Cause Kewl Tie says it gives you more energy and keeps you focused…. AND I want to be more manly, now that I’m in my butch doctor phase. I WANT ANDROL!
HIM: Butch doctor phase? THIS is your butch doctor phase?
ME: You know it is!
HIM: There are literally a billion things you could do to be more manly that you don’t need testosterone for.
ME: Name one.
HIM: Stop calling me in the middle of my work day, and having a tantrum because you can’t get what you want.
ME: How is that manly?
HIM: If I wanted to deal with the likes of you during work hours I would have been a gynecologist.
ME: You just don’t want me to be manly, cause you’re threatened by the notion of me being macho.
HIM: The notion of you being macho is only threatening because Hell will have frozen over twice when that happens.
HIM: NO! NO! NO! And that is final.
ME: Fine… I’ll just get it the old fashioned way.
HIM: Which is…
ME: Sucking it straight out of the man.
HIM: Why are we best friends? How did this happen?
ME: You’re lucky and I’m generous. I’ll have the pharmacy call you.
HIM: I AM NOT giving you Androl.
ME: Why are you so cruel.
HIM: You are not going to let me off the phone are you?
ME: When you give me Androl.
HIM: FINE! Come in, have a blood test, if your testosterone is low you can have your damn Androl.
ME: Do you think it will be low.
HIM: I don’t know. When I check your blood I’m just happy not to find pepperoni and cocktail onions.

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