Big Sis

(Me and My Sister) The phone rings: it’s 6:00 a.m. I’ve been up writing until 4:00 a.m.
ME: (thinking: this had better be God with money and coffee) Hello… Dr. Gordon…
HER: What’s my doctor’s name?
ME: Huh (coming into consciousness)Oh…Good morning sis.
HER: What’s my doctor’s name?
ME: What doctor?
HER: The one you found for me that I like.
ME: Gimme a second… I just went to sleep I have to wait for my brain to wake up. What’s wrong.
HER: My left arm hurts/
ME: (Wake Straight Up) Hurts how?
HER: It aches, from the surgery.
ME: Oh okay (sigh of relief)… by the way I’m mad at you for not telling me you were having surgery.
HER: Sorry thought you knew.
ME: How was I supposed to know.
HER: You’re such a know it all. I thought you knew.
ME: ONE Jeopardy… I answer all the questions and you won’t let me live it down.
HER: Who knows all the answers to every question on jeopardy.
ME: It was a phase Doris. I’m not like that anymore.
HER: We know how you LOVE Your phases.
ME: It’s 6:00 o’clock in the morning. I’ve had 2 hours sleep it’s not fair… I don’t have the strength to fight back. Leave me alone.
HER: Some strange reason I feel better now.
ME: You get more and more like mom every day.
HER: (Silence on the phone)
ME: I’m joking. I’m joking… Anyway your doctor’s name is Brad Ferrari… (Look in my phone for his number… but I only have his private cell… So I Google him… get his office number…. give it to her.) You’ll be okay. I love you.
HER: I love you too. Sorry I woke you up.
ME: Don’t worry about it. I’m 24/7 for you.
HER: I hear my grand kids say that. What does that mean?
ME: It means all day, everyday, 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
HER: I love you. I wish you could come home for Thanksgiving.
ME: I love you too. I wish I could too. (We hang up)
ROBERT: Who was on the phone?
ME: My sister.
HIM: What does she want at this hour?
ME: Her doctors phone number.
HIM: Don’t they have phone books in Michigan?
ME: You don’t understand family.
HIM: No but I understand sleep.
ME: (Dial her doctor on his cell) Hey Brad.
HIM: Hey Billi how’s Cali?
ME: For the most part still sleeping… anyway… my sister’s going to call your office… talk to her she’s scared, calm her down.
HIM: Will do? Is that all?
ME: Yeah.
HIM: Are you sure?
ME: Yeah, What are you talking about.
HIM: You don’t want to gloat over Michigan eeking past MSU?
ME: Oh… too early… don’t have the strength. Besides I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the unthinkable concept that MSU has a medical school and you went to it.
HIM: Now there’s that Michigan arrogance that’s so charming…
ME: You’re welcome… (we laugh) now good bye.

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