Non-booty Call

Me & Wally the Evil Badger Cardiologist)
HIM: What is your problem?
ME: Nothing, why?
HIM: I’ve called you 4 times today and you haven’t picked up or returned my call.
ME: Been slammed with work and you only called twice.
HIM: I shouldn’t have to call at all, you’re my fromo. Everybody knows the gay guy calls the hot butch straight guy in a fromo relationship.
ME: If my fromo was a hot butch straight guy I would call but you’re my fromo.
HIM: Are you saying I’m not hot and butch.
ME: That is EXACTLY what I’m saying: you are not hot, not butch, and only straight as a last resort. You like opera, play squash,man-scape, and are a slave to interior design and fashion….
HIM: I’m urbane.
ME: Urbane… how gay is that word?
HIM: You know, you will die alone, poorly dressed, and watching a football game with food stains on your clothes.
ME: What are you trying to say?
HIM: The last time I gave you a blood test I found pepperoni in your blood.
ME: And you eat like a 16 old girl during prom month. “Oh nooo…. I couldn’t eat a thing… I had a huge gust of wind on the way over… ”
HIM: Listen Queen Kong, you’re a TERRIBLE fromo, a meataholic…and a wino… who drinks wine in a box… I mean what is that?
ME: I told you that is not wine, You’ve heard of eastern medicine, this is south central medicine… negrodolophilus… you metrosexual twit.
HIM: I am NOT metrosexual, I am civilized. I am VERY Butch and hot. You should see me at the gym in my work out gear. .
ME: Please a negro life is brutal enough without seeing your skinny shaved legs in green lycra…. it looks like too old toothpicks in a shiny olive…. If Moses had seen you wearing that thing there would be another commandment.

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