HIM: Where are you going?
ME: Downtown to get Deondray Gossfield a new bonzai tree, Quincy Gossfield killed D’s tree…. it was a subconscious attack on me.
HIM: I thought you gave it to both of them for a wedding present.
ME: I did. What’s your point?
HIM: Deondray grabbed it and said,”this is mine and you can look at it.”
ME: Well Quincy didn’t water it. And it was Quincy’s responsibility and you don’t understand these things…
HIM: No, I do not understand how that was Quincy’s fault.
ME: Of course not, cause you are not a god parent.
HIM: They’re my God children too.
ME: No they are not.
HIM: Yes they are… and let me tell you what the problem is. You SO wanted to dislike Quincy….
ME: I did not.
HIM: You did too, because he committed the mortal crime of marrying one of your god children and no one is good enough for your God children.
ME: I adore Quincy.
HIM: I know, and its driving you crazy. You don’t get to use your “he’s not good enough for my baby” cause there is nothing not to adore, he’s smart, talented, good looking, love’s Dee to death, has a great personality….
ME: He killed D’s tree, and it was intentional. He’s intimidated because i’m such a fabulous Godmummifus… it’s scary….
HIM: Only if you’re about to fall on him. And D is my God child too.
ME: No he’s not. And its in our wedding vows. Clause B. Section 9 Now give me the money for this tree.
HIM: Why should I give you the money….
ME: You understand NOTHING about marriage.
HIM: And you do?
ME: I know the basics: what’s mine is mine, and whats yours is ours, and the only hope is to beat your spouse and hope they don’t like it