Me and Wally The Evil Badger Cardiologist)
HIM: Okay… which tie, this one or that one? I have a hot date.
ME: Wear this one and blindfold her with this one so she doesn’t see it.
HIM: My mom picked out these ties
ME: How? By closing her eyes and throwing darts
HIM: Listen I have a date with this stripper whose boobsicles are so massive you need Oxygen to climb them. You’ve actually met her…. Remember that Brazilian chick from the Spearmint Rhino
ME: She barely speaks English…
HIM: More importantly cannot even spell no.
ME: She’s crazy.
HIM: No she’s not.
ME: Her stage name is Paprika Fire Panties… trust me… she might as well have a cat fancy magazine and a blood stained clown suit.