Badgered Back

cake-birthday-cake-flame-on-5(Me and Wally the Evil Badger Cardiologist)
HIM: How are you?
ME: I’m weary, colored, fat, and 15 hours aways from 60.
HIM: That’s great!
ME: How is that great? The only good thing about being 60 is you can no longer die unexpectedly.
HIM: Actually that’s 55. What should I do with my winnings.
ME: What winnings
HIM: I run this gambling pool for MD’s only at Cedars and we bet on things.
ME: So basically you’re a cardio-bookie. You’re running an illegal gambling operation under the Star of David… have you no morals at ALL?
HIM: With enough cash you don’t need morals, and I just made 10K betting that you would live until 60. Nobody saw this coming but me. Ching ching! Nobody thought I could keep you alive.
ME: You are disgusting and I’m alive in spite of you, not because of you, you metrosexual quack.
HIM: Come on 60 is just a number… a very large number, but it’s still a number.
ME: And you’re a still a dweebe.
HIM: Imagine the size of your carbon foot print. It must be HUGE… like a dinosaur… speaking of dinosaurs….
ME: He who laughs last… you’ve been pressing 60 so long its pleted.
HIM: Yeah well after tomorrow you will be dragging it. But at least you will be sober, BTW since you’re not drinking, what should I bring besides fire extinguishers…
ME: I’m drinking Kefir. Lots of Kefir.
HIM: Keifer Sutherland?
ME: Ewwwww no you’re disgusting!
HIM: Maybe so… but you’re 60!

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