(Me & Wally The Evil Badger Cardio;gist)
ME: I forgot the Navy’s Birthday!
HIM: Wow, and you’ve always been such a safe haven for Seaman
ME: That are lots of Navy personnel that never go to sea.
HIM: I was taking about semen with two e’s and no a
ME: You’re a dick.
HIM: How fortunate for you.
ME: Don’t flatter yourself.
HIM: I never do that’s why God made women.
ME: I feel so bad about missing the birthday of the Navy
HIM: What is it about you and sailors
ME: You mean what was it I haven’t done a sailor in 30 years. I probably can’t even open a pair of Cracker Jacks with my teeth.
HIM: What’s that got to do with anything? You shouldn’t be eating Cracker Jacks anyway. Horrible processed food.
ME: Cracker Jacks are what sailors call the service uniforms they wear that are like the ones on the Cracker Jack Box.
HIM: I thought there was only one.
ME: No there’s three types, working, service and the dress uniform.
HIM: What about the undressed uniform… I am sure you saw a lot of THAT one.
ME: Oh haha… There was a time when I could recognize the 11 rates and ranks and 5 chief warrant officer insignia from a block way..
HIM: Rates and Ranks? I thought they had the ranks and you had the rates
ME: Yes and no, actually the sailors insignias differ according to pay grade.
HIM: Seriously? Who knows that?
ME: An ethical whore. I had a sliding scale…
HIM: Seriously? An ethical whore? ONLY YOU would think that that’s a possibility.
ME: Only you would not realize that we are all whores… just a matter of venue and price.
HIM: Whatever. I am not going to try and make you understand logic today. Now I have to go, there’s a muff waiting for a dive mission.
ME: Disgusting. Poor girl.
HIM: You mean lucky girl, I am the Navy Seal of muff divers. the ultimate muff-meister. And THAT is a matter of ethics.
ME: How so?
HIM: You should always finish eating your muff because there are horny people in third world countries.
ME: You are a 3rd world country.. The United States of Sleaze, Arrogance and Oblivious
HIM: Says the guy whose seen more naked sailors than the showers at Camp Pendleton
ME: Camp Pendleton is a marine base.
HIM: And of course you would know that. (Rolls his eyes)
ME: I will not apologize for my enlistment.
HIM: What? You never enlisted in the military.
ME: No, they enlisted in me…