St. Badger the Evil

(Me and Wally the Evil Badger)

a97069_g045_1HIM:  I am so depressed.

ME: I was earlier, but I’m better now.

HIM: I’m thinking about going back to church, can you recommend one?

ME: Well my parish is St. Augustine’s cause that’s where I live, you should try St. Monica’s, it’s a little liberal for my taste.

HIM: What do you mean?

ME: I like the old catholic stuff, latin mass, strict traditional ceremony, lots of toys, pageantry, confession, and repentance…

HIM: I’m just going to get laid.

ME: The try Our Lady of the Lake in Malibu, or St Martin Tours in Brentwood, or Corpus Christi in the Palisades… Or there’s a church in Venice.. now don’t judge it…

HIM: I’ve already judged it  Venice…. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

ME:  I know,  I don’t like that bohemian aspect of Venice, reminds me of all of things I disliked about Ann Arbor, natural fibers, and hippies and things..

HIM: I hated that bohemian aspect of Madison, so I don’t want some tattooed skank  from the Catholic church in Venice.

ME: Well you don’t know she’ll be a skank… besides you should not be going to church to pick up women who does that

HIM: EXACTLY!  They’re guard will be completely down.   So hook me up… what’s the right church.

ME: I have no idea because I do not go to church for the right reasons.

HIM:  You go t0 St. Augustine’s, you’re closer to St. Gerard Majella.

ME: I know but its tacky on inside and I hate the name.

HIM: Fair enough.  You know I’m thinking about male genital mutilation

ME: What?

HIM: I was circumcised.  If I hadn’t been circumcised my penis might be a lot longer.

ME: Circumcision does’t make penises shorter.  Uncircumcised penises just look longer… but they really aren’t.

HIM: Well still, I feel mutilated.  They cut off part of my dick without asking me.

ME: Correction, they cut off part of your penis, which is the little thing between your legs, everything that surrounds that is dick.

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