“It would be helpful to move legislation this week that makes it clear that this law does not give businesses a right to deny services to anyone,” Pence said in a press conference in Indianapolis on Tuesday.
It would be even more helpful for the troubled governor, if photographs, from 1979, depicting him in an intimate embrace with openly gay former transgendered model/tv actress, turned writer/neuroscientist, Billi Gordon. Apparently, Gordon, who is not only gay, but also a Negro and a Democrat, was a student at the University of Michigan, when he met Pence, then president of Phi Gamma Delta at Hanover College.
“I originally took the pictures as insurance to keep Mikey from outing me back in the day. I just never threw them away,” said whistle blower, David Bell, who was a childhood friend of Pence’s and an acquaintance of Gordon at the time. “Then when he pulled this stunt, I realized it was time to dig them up.”
“What?, Who?” said Gordon to reporters, when contacted at his Los Angeles home. “Seriously, you’re asking me to try and remember if I did some guy I met at a Frat Party in 1979. Doll, the years have been kind, but the weekends have been rough -my hippocampus is not all it could be. I don’t even remember 1979, less on some random white boy. It was a frat party, he had a penis, I had mouth, yeah the deal probably went down – get over it! Guys like him usually find some good little girl who they can share their biggest, darkest secret with… most times, I’m that secret. Now I have to cut this short, I’m a brunette and a Democrat. We have to work.”
Pence was unavailable for comment, although he did say he is working on his own April Fool’s joke that would not be played on Gays and Lesbians, but not for reasons of discrimination.