<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	>

<channel>
	<title>W A (Billi) Gordon, PhD</title>
	<atom:link href="http://billygordon.com/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://billygordon.com</link>
	<description>Integrative Behavioral Neuroscience - Brain Research - Functional Neuroimaging</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Sun, 14 Apr 2013 17:19:49 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en-US</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
	<generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=350</generator>
		<item>
		<title>As The Seasons Change&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://billygordon.com/2013/04/14/seasons-change/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=seasons-change</link>
		<comments>http://billygordon.com/2013/04/14/seasons-change/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 14 Apr 2013 17:19:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>drbillyg</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://billygordon.com/?p=4220</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In a couple of years I will be turning 60. The only good thing about turning 60 is that you can no longer die unexpectedly. That’s a harsh reality. Facing the fact that many of your dreams will not come true before its all said and done is brutal. For example, I am never going to start a world language. I probably won’t win a Nobel or a Pulitzer Prize. I most likely won’t visit every country in the world. And if my spouse has anything to say about it, I definitely won’t have sex with at least one person from every country. Some of these goals have become less important over the years. The bigger questions are: Am I happy? Am I content with my life? Do I have regrets? Well looking back on my life, I have to say the answer is, I’m happy sometimes, and I have lots of regrets. I know if I had lived my life differently I would still have regrets. They would just be different regrets. For example, I think if I had acquiesced to the powers that be in television and agreed not to self-present as female, I’d be extremely wealthy. However, I also know I would be extremely disappointed for selling my life journey to the highest bidder. I would regret not being smart enough to realize that Hollywood will pay you a hundred thousand dollars for a half hour television script and a dime for your soul. But the truth is, it’s hard to be old without a lot of money. The other truth is it’s hard to be old without a soul. But even if I had found a happy compromise, and I probably could have, would I be happy? Has my life been worthwhile? The honest answer—some days yes, some days no. Have I been happy? Same Answer. Have I been successful? Same answer. Now that death, opposed to something like finishing my Ph.D. or being admitted to the Writer’s Guild is the next big event in my life, I’ve realized one thing. I’m no longer impressed with money, fame, political power, material objects, physical beauty, sexual prowess, academic achievements or even love. What impresses me is self-satisfaction. That can be anything from a good meal, to making a Photoshop picture, to just staring at a bird outside of a window. Funny, I don’t have the many options that are peculiar to youth, however I have the one key option that is specific to old age. I have wisdom. Wisdom has taught me that happiness is legislated in a congress of moments. Wisdom has also taught me that life is driven by a differential engine. Therefore, there could be no happiness without sadness, no success without failure, no laughter without tears. And I have had all of those. So am I happy? Am I content? No, I am Dr. Billi Gordon, and he is not happy, content, regretful, regretless, sad or discontent. He, like life, is all of...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://billygordon.com/2013/04/14/seasons-change/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Heartless</title>
		<link>http://billygordon.com/2013/04/12/heartless/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=heartless</link>
		<comments>http://billygordon.com/2013/04/12/heartless/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 13 Apr 2013 06:45:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>drbillyg</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[The L Word]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://billygordon.com/?p=4214</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Me &#38; Wally The Evil Badger Cardiologist) ME: Why did you deactivate my heart monitor HIM: Because in defiance of all clinical wisdom, your heart is fine, all things considered. ME: Seriously? HIM: Seriously. (perplexed) I JUST don&#8217;t get it. According to all of my medical training you should have died 2 years ago. ME: Well i&#8217;ve always told you to write your medical school and ask for some of your money back. HIM: This JUST doesn&#8217;t make any sense. I have 20 year-olds that have just one of your bad habits and they&#8217;re in much worse condition than you. ME: What bad habits? I don&#8217;t have any bad habits. HIM: You&#8217;re extremely overweight, your sodium intake is like a deer at a salt lick, and you have a history of severe drug and alcohol abuse and you avoid exercise like its HIV. ME: Define severe and avoid. HIM: You&#8217;ve been in Betty Ford more times than Gerald Ford and you&#8217;re so lazy you stick your nose out the window for the wind to blow it. ME: Don&#8217;t judge me, and that&#8217;s not severe, that&#8217;s proactive recovery. HIM: Oh yeah, great recovery. I busted you and Robert Downey Jr. the same day you were released from Betty Ford&#8230; ME: For making one little cocktail&#8230; to celebrate our release. You TOTALLY overreacted. HIM: You put ground up speed, dilaudid and 100 proof vodka in Tang! ME: It&#8217;s called a Janis Joplin Mimosa. HIM: it&#8217;s called disgusting and potentially lethal. ME: Don&#8217;t judge me. I had just gotten out of BETTY FORD, I didn&#8217;t have any fresh OJ we had to use Tang. HIM: Well at least you&#8217;ve been behaving lately. ME: I&#8217;ve been VERY good. I haven&#8217;t had Tang in months.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://billygordon.com/2013/04/12/heartless/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Presidents</title>
		<link>http://billygordon.com/2012/12/15/presidents/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=presidents</link>
		<comments>http://billygordon.com/2012/12/15/presidents/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 15 Dec 2012 18:05:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>drbillyg</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[The L Word]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://billygordon.com/?p=4171</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[HIM: Did you know George Washington&#8217;s Teeth were actually made of elephants tusk not wood? ME: Glad we cleared that up. Who gives a damn. HIM: And Thomas Jefferson spoke 6 languages? ME: I heard he was packing. HIM: What? Where would you hear something like that? ME: At the salon. HIM: Your hair salon is an insane asylum with blow dryers. ME: My salon has a lot of inside relevant presidential information, I can tell you a LOT of things about Bill Clinton. HIM: Oh yeah, that dreadful Monica Lewinski goes there. ME: She is dreadful, and talk about split ends.. her hair looks like neurons. HIM: Whatever&#8230; Did you know James Madison was only 5&#8217;4&#8243; and weighed less than a 100 pounds, Lincoln was 6&#8217;4 and President Clinton was 5&#8217;10&#8243; ME: I didn&#8217;t know about the 5 feet, but I heard ALL about the 10 inches. HIM: TMI. Did you know Andrew Jackson was the first president to ride in a train? ME: Nope, but did YOU know Kennedy was the first president to pull a train. HIM: Did you know James Buchanan was never married. ME: Yes, and he was the first president to redecorate the white house HIM: Garfield could write with both hands at the same time, and in a different language with each hand. ME: Andrew Johnson was buried wrapped in the flag holding the constitution. How kinky is that? HIM: He was nuts. Chester A Arthur changed his pants several times a day &#8211; he owned 80 pairs of pants ME: He should have change that hideous name. HIM: Speaking of ugly names&#8230;Rutherford B Hayes&#8230; ME: He was the first president to have a phone, and his phone number was 1. HIM: Wow the same as your social security number. ME: Fuck you. HIM: Speaking of that John Tyler had 15 children. ME: Wow and he wasn&#8217;t even Catholic. HIM: Did you know Warren G. Harding gambled away a set of White House dishes&#8230; ME: Hoover used to speak to his wife in Chinese so their conversations would be private&#8230;. you know the Hoovers were kinky&#8230; HIM: Taft weighed 350 pounds and got stuck in the White House bath tub. ME: Oh you just couldn&#8217;t WAIT to tell me that. I&#8217;m sure you were thrilled to hear that&#8230; takes a lot of worry off of your mind. HIM: What? Worry about what? ME: Well if something happened to Michele, I would have to leave you and step in and be Barack&#8217;s new first lady. HIM: Oh yeah, that&#8217;s what I stay up an worry about all night&#8230; ME: And if the bath tubs are too small I&#8217;d have to pass the job on the next in line. HIM: The next in line? ME: Yeah we drew straws at the salon to see who would be next in line to marry Barack if something happened to Michele. HIM: You guys seriously drew straws to see which one of you in your wildest dreams would...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://billygordon.com/2012/12/15/presidents/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Black Christmas</title>
		<link>http://billygordon.com/2012/12/14/black-christmas/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=black-christmas</link>
		<comments>http://billygordon.com/2012/12/14/black-christmas/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 15 Dec 2012 06:30:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>drbillyg</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[The L Word]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://billygordon.com/?p=4169</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[(ME being Santa Claus at a Mall in the hood with a Little kid) ME: Ho, ho, ho&#8230; Merrrrrrry Christmas HIM: Are you a blood? ME: No I&#8217;m not a blood? HIM: Then why you wearing red? ME: Cause I&#8217;m Santa Claus&#8230; HIM: So. This is Crip turf&#8230; You can&#8217;t wear red down here. Somebody will bust a cap in you ME: No they won&#8217;t I&#8217;m Santa Claus. HIM: So. The Crips don&#8217;t care if you the police. They will light you up wearing rival colors. ME: Why don&#8217;t you sit on Santa&#8217;s lap and tell me what you want for Christmas. HIM: Do WHAT? SIT ON YOUR LAP? We aint in prison. I don&#8217;t play that. ME: Have you ever sat on Santa&#8217;s lap before? HIM: Have you ever been stabbed in the forehead by a kid? I&#8217;ll light your ass up you fat freak. ME: You&#8217;re supposed to sit on Santa&#8217;s lap. HIM: Are you smoking? HELL NO. ME: Okay, you don&#8217;t have to sit on my lap. Just tell me what you want for Christmas. HIM: A gat. ME: Excuse me? HIM: You heard me, I want a gat, and I want it clean. ME: I cannot bring you a gat HIM: Okay it doesn&#8217;t have to be clean, just file the serial numbers off. ME: I am not bringing you a gun. Now what else do you want? HIM: I want some badass hoe&#8217;s for my pimpin&#8217; game. ME: You&#8217;re 7 years old. You don&#8217;t have a pimpin game. HIM: I would if you bring me some badass hoes. ME: How about a basketball? HIM: Nigga, do I look like Kobe to you? I don&#8217;t want damn basketball. I want a gat and some hoes. ME: Look I&#8217;m Santa Claus. I don&#8217;t bring gats and hoes. I check my list and see whose been naughty and whose been nice&#8230; HIM: So you&#8217;re with the probation department? ME: NO! I&#8217;m Santa Claus! Every Christmas Eve, me and my reindeer fly through the sky? HIIM: So you operate a ghetto bird? ME: No I am not a police search helicopter pilot. I&#8217;m Santa Claus. My reindeer land on the roof, and I slide down the chimneys bearing gifts. HIM: Well let me give you the 4-1-1, who EVER you are. First of all&#8230; don&#8217;t be wearing red down here, and you need to get rid of them reindeer and get some pit bulls cause them reindeer will end up in an egg roll or a burrito. ME: I&#8217;m Santa Claus I am NOT getting Pit Bulls HIM: And if you going to be sliding down chimney&#8217;s down here, you better be bearing gifts, packing reefer and crack, and you better be strapped and with your crew. ME: Ho ho ho&#8230; HIM: Oh yeah, almost forgot, and you better bring some hoes too&#8230; or you will definitely be on the news and somebody&#8217;s prayer list.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://billygordon.com/2012/12/14/black-christmas/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Obsession</title>
		<link>http://billygordon.com/2012/12/14/obsession/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=obsession</link>
		<comments>http://billygordon.com/2012/12/14/obsession/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 15 Dec 2012 06:26:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>drbillyg</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[The L Word]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://billygordon.com/?p=4167</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[HIM: What&#8217;s wrong with Julie? ME: Michigan beat Northwestern in OT HIM: Really? I thought she didn&#8217;t care about football. ME: Oh PLEASE. What do you think those purple and white balloons were about. HIM: What purple and white balloons? ME: In 1996 when Northwestern went to the Rose Bowl. She had all of those tacky purple and white balloons on her porch. HIM:1996? No I don&#8217;t remember that. ME: I can&#8217;t believe you don&#8217;t remember that. She got TOTALLY CARRIED AWAY. I&#8217;m SO GLAD my ego is not attached to Michigan football HIM: Are you serious? How can you say that with a straight face? You are OBSESSED with Michigan. ME: I am NOT obsessed with Michigan football. Give me ONE example of my Michigan football obsession,. HIM: Your phone ringtone is Hail to The Victors, you have Michigan Shit ALL over your car, EVERY SATURDAY you change your Facebook profile and time line picture to some Michigan thing, you fly that God awful Michigan flag, take out your stupid Michigan letterman jacket, your Michigan mug, your Michigan shot glass, your Michigan sweats, your Michigan T-Shirt, your beat up old Michigan cheerleading megaphone, you yell and scream at T.V. or you go to horrible place with all of those other Michigan maniacs and watch the game and you lead cheers and get drunk and eat food flown in from the Cottage Inn and Pizza Bobs. AND when they went to Sugar Bowl you made that huge M for The boat, one for on top of the garage, and one out of lights and wire for Corinne&#8217;s house on the Hill over PCH in Malibu. ME: I said give me one. Whose being obsessive now?]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://billygordon.com/2012/12/14/obsession/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>
